A relationship is an absolute ton of work, the magnitude of which vacillates within our daily lives.
If I or anyone else has led you to believe that love, romance or marriage are easy, well then I would like to go on record as saying that this is complete rubbish; twaddle, poppycock, bollocks and so forth.
(All the clichés tend to be true from time to time; I’m going to try not to go there.)
On marriage, Mark Twain wrote:
Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
First of all, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, at least by definition, unless your idea of perfect is completely relative to your own happiness. I happen to believe just that, as it takes out the comparison aspect of perfection.
Secondly, it can take many, many years and a lot of patience to get in sync as a couple. You don’t generally start out knowing how to cohabitate. It takes an incredible amount of understanding to live in a copacetic state.
And third, even the most romantic unions have their ups and downs. This I personally guarantee you. I.e. every couple has disagreements, some squabbles from time to time, and usually at least a few knock-down, drag-out fights (not literally, of course), all under their belts, us included.
We’ve hopefully taken something, some nugget of knowledge from each of them. This is one of the many methods we can use to grow…or breakdown. Hopefully we grow. Grow together.
Being that I’m somewhat of a romantic who tends to sentimentalize, not to mention who (too) frequently gives in to bouts of nostalgia, I may come across as somewhat perpetually happy. This assuredly is not the case.
I believe and trust that I put a lot of effort into my marriage, and I’m thankful every day that it has been a wonderful ride. I may be lucky, I’ve no doubts to that, but birds and mice don’t do the work for me. I’ve used my own blood, sweat and tears.
And I’d do it all over again.
I’d like to think that…
Putting your trust into something as serious as love is not always an easy task. Then again it’s not always a task at all…
Raina K Morton March 26, 2015
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.