Blog, Memoir, Stroke Survivor, Struggle, Writing

‘Coz I’m So Tired

[SO TIRED CAFÉ]
[SO TIRED CAFÉ]
Coz I’m So Tired       [a kind of poem]

I’m tired of the way my face still feels numb, and of how every little hair that brushes it tickles it beyond my capacity to ignore

I’m tired of the way my hand clamps up when I’m trying to do something crucial, at the very worst time possible

I’m tired of the way my toes tighten up & bend & curl & hurt, when I’m out and in public and I go to pivot and turn, simply trying to walk

I’m tired of the way that my arm bends, my wrist bends and hand clenches as I talk to someone, like it never would’ve done before

I’m tired of the way my words come out jumbled sometimes, as I instinctively try to talk fast, but I really can’t any more

I’m tired of the new and different and changed physical me

I’m tired of worrying that people are judging me all…the…time

I’m tired of being afraid it could happen again

I’m tired of being tired as my brain heals from these injuries and trauma, and my energy is used up so quickly

I’m tired of being tired

I’m tired of waiting

I’m okay, I’m workin’ on it, but…

I’m tired.

I'm Tired

 

— Raina K Morton September 19 2014

 

*Title from a very cool song by The KINKS called ‘Tired of Waiting for You’

2 thoughts on “‘Coz I’m So Tired”

  1. I get tired (I am ten years older than you)…and then I think, “what excuse do I have for complaining after watching the courage and, yes, GRACE that you have faced this situation with”…and I think my left knee hurts like a “thunder bitch”…what why should I complain…thank you for showing others (near and far) that being tired is okay and having a new normal is okay, and accepting (or trying to) a situation beyond your control is okay, and that while we don’t have to like “it” (the situation) we can still like ourselves and equally importantly, each other. Good fortune? Well, yes, I am fortunate to have a friend as AWESOME as YOU. XXOO

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t let it get the best of you , Rai . Fight , fight against the fright . What a poet , I know it , I’ll show it , I won’t no go it , (reaching) Oh I know : stow it , OK . Anyway , luv ya
    Dad

    Like

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