Practice Compassion for All Beings;
I don’t get crazy-upset very often, at least not in public. But quite honestly I don’t often have reason to? I am not very aggressive, unless it’s called for; as in taking a chance to get ahead or through, like when I have to drive on a busy, 6-lane highway or make my way through the holiday crowds. I rarely have something come out to the table incorrectly at a restaurant. Very seldom am I unable to get help when I ask for it, which I do, often.
But yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown. As is typical, it wasn’t in public. It was at home, and it was tear-filled and ugly. I let myself go completely, albeit briefly, off the rails and it was mostly because I thought that I’d lost control of a situation. And I kind of panicked.
Not only that, I couldn’t even solve it or really get to the bottom of things, I couldn’t actually reach anyone by phone as it was evening. But I was adept at letting it leave me feeling helpless and regretful. I was worried about the outcome and also that I’d let down someone whom I love. Not to mention my poor husband was there, trying to help. *Note: he did not run and hide; points for him.
I did let my emotions get the best of me though. Granted I have been under a tremendous amount of stress for the past few months, and it wouldn’t likely surprise most people that I am fragile, or that I might unravel easily.
It wasn’t just last night though, because it continued when I had to get back to pursuing it today. I knew that I was visibly upset after my dog got up and left when he couldn’t stand to be there with my energy level going in the direction it was headed. I remember now that I was really, really close to throwing the phone against the wall after only reaching auto-mated systems…except that a) I didn’t want to break our phone, and b) I didn’t want to clean up a mess.
I did finally have an actual conversation, two even, with people who were trying to help me, though their hands were mostly tied. And regardless that it wasn’t my fault, nor was it theirs, I felt frustrated and had let it get the better of me not once, but twice.
I just felt, it’s really hard sometimes being a person. And just like everyone else I am out there trying to get things done in the world and sometimes I come up against a wall that makes me crazy! I don’t wanted to be a pushover, nor do I want to be a jerk.
What I really, really wanted was to get my package where it was going after everything that I had thought about shipping it was taken and changed for the worse. This is still true and I am still concerned and I will be until I find out what happens. However, I cannot let this take over and be ruled by it. As in, I can’t let my emotions start to affect me so greatly that it manifests physically; whether that be my mood, a headache, upset stomach, hives, or other ailments.
I believe there is usually a great lesson to be learned whenever things happen or unfold. Unfortunately it seems like many of them come from negative experiences, but not all. I had to stop a little while ago and think about what was happening. When I walked in that shop yesterday two employees were extremely helpful and my experience at the time was very positive. It wasn’t until later that I found out that something had gone wrong.
Then after I’d cooled down a while, I just happened to read the following passage in an email that came today. I nearly did a double-take. Maybe you or someone you know could benefit from these words, too?
“… Be curious. Wonder. Be willing to participate in the co-creation of reality. Stay humble. Remain open for awe. If things go the way you wish, stumble into gratitude wholeheartedly. And if not, be exquisitely tender with your heart. Find the gifts and the challenges without blaming yourself or wallowing in a victim story, but also be kind and acknowledge that it is hard to be human, and we’re all doing the best we can.
If nothing else, practice compassion for all beings. Including yourself. BE love. Close your eyes right now and feel it. You are loved. Everything in the universe is conspiring to support you. Everything is going to be okay…”
— Lissa Rankin, MD
I felt much better when I realized that the following words are how I want to live my life;
It’s not about being a pushover. It’s about well-being. Be well…
— Raina Morton Wednesday, September 30, 2015
*Buy the adorable “inhale exhale repeat hand stamped sterling silver necklace” pictured above by going to Etsy, here*